Yu no Okami
by KeivRus
Summary: "You are beautiful." Past lives blur as Yu finds himself depending on Izanagi far beyond the fog. Yu/Naoto Izanagi/Izanami


**A/N: **I'll keep this brief since there isn't much to say. Thanks for the follows and favorites! As insignificant as it seems it really does help with the writing process. Hopefully you guys enjoy this one as well!

Disclaimer: I own nothing etc etc etc

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She wasn't the type to raise her voice—especially to him.

Of course she was nervous, how could he forget how her knees buckled together or how her eyes were constantly fixated on the ground when she first appeared before him in a female uniform? He had witnessed her accepting her Shadow, and he foolishly believed that was the end of her troubles. As soon as Yosuke came to terms with Saki Konishi's death, he mourned, but there were no more lingering questions or desires—no more chains to be held down by. Kanji and Yukiko were one in the same. Once they accepted their faults and repressed thoughts, a spell was broken and they were at peace.

He failed to see that Naoto continued to bind herself, and although she didn't demand the others to keep it a secret, the way she continued to speak in a low tone and her attire made it clear enough. If anything, she had only come to terms with the fact that she wanted to accept herself, but she had yet to complete it in its entirety. He, of all people, should have noticed it, not only as a leader, but as the one person who she timidly asked if he preferred a higher toned voice.

In retrospect the correct answer would have included something along the lines of "if you prefer it" or "when you're ready" but he was selfish. He was unfamiliar with the constricting tension in his chest whenever her eyes flickered to meet his across the Junes table. Although he was aware of what this so-called feeling was, there was an unsurmountable fear that curdled inside of him whenever she unintentionally distanced herself from him for the sake of her work. He would wait for her daily calls only to hear the clock ticking away.

He was used to waiting. Cold dinner boxes would be the only sign that he had parents to wait for a few years ago, and her phone call was no different. But for the first time, no matter how late, the phone would always ring. The length of the call didn't matter, it was the reassurance that he was still present in her world.

He was not empty.

Before, everything was the same. Classmates from all the previous schools he attended had similar features and empty smiles. He wanted nothing from any one of them. Any kind of interaction was a reminder that he would be gone the next month or even the next day only to be forgotten.

She was different.

It was the first time he could call something his own (even though he knew she would despise that), but she was the one who kept his doubts at bay. Every smile that she saved for his eyes, or every shy kiss she planted on his lips proved it. However, with every confirmation, he wanted more proof. The team, especially Yosuke, chided him for his overprotective side over his "precious Nanako"—Naoto was no different. He wouldn't call himself possessive, but there was an ugly, carnal desire that wanted to keep the detective to himself. Seeing a side of her that no one else knew, fulfilled that want.

Kanji was innocent with his flushed face and awkward responses to her. It was Rise, who was inspired by the notion of matchmaking, that demanded Naoto to come out in public wearing one of her dresses. Yosuke quickly seconded which granted him a kick to the gut by Chie while Yukiko mentioned how Naoto's smooth skin would finally be showcased in a dress. He could feel his hands instinctively curling into a fist. As much as he wanted to, he could never say that she was his. The memory of her Shadow crying into her oversized sleeves harshly reminded him that she feared being alone. He would be damned if he ostracized her for his own selfish gain.

"What do you think Yu-senpai?" Rise asked as she sidled up next to him. He glanced at Naoto long enough to see her looking up at him with uncertainty. He forced his hands open from its tight grip—knuckles still pallid—before clapping them together as though he was completely nonchalant.

"It sounds like a brilliant idea."

—-

"Naoto," he paused unsure of what to say after she demanded that he leave her alone. Yu took a cautious step forward toward her kneeling form but her flinching commanded him to freeze. She was curled against the corner of the room desperately clinging to her knees in an attempt to hide her figure. The others, still begging to catch a glimpse of her in a dress, were clamoring outside the door. Ignoring the sounds of protest outside, he extended a hand toward her determined to apologize, but her words paralyzed him.

"Don't look at me!"

—

The backlight of his cellphone was the only source of light in his dark room. The team quickly dispersed after their meeting. Naoto had wisely remained quiet so the team could happily go their separate ways for the day without a doubt that there was a deep tension between the two of them. But he could see in the way she swiftly tucked her hat before departing, that there were unspeakable troubles they had to face. Instead of stepping forward and grabbing her wrists so he could apologize while walking her home, he quietly retreated back to the Dojima household. As brave and reliable as he was in the battlefield, he shamefully resorted back to the fearful boy—the boy who always waited.

This time, he wondered if she would come back.

Whether or not she had work back at the station or personal matters with her grandfather, she had always called him before midnight. The neon green letters of his clock read 2:00 AM. He looked at the screen and in the slight reflection, he could see his disheveled bed hair and the typical blank stare. As childish as it was, he was never the one to make the call. It wasn't a teenage notion of playing the game of push and pull, it was a habit. A habit of waiting. If he waited long enough, maybe one day his parents would come home before the rice got cold. If she called, he still belonged somewhere—he belonged to her. His eyes drooped, and closing them only made him realize how dry they became from staring at his cellphone for too long. Placing a hand over his eyes, he was left completely in the dark where only his Shadow's wailing voice could be heard. He expected haunting whispers of not wanting to be empty and cast aside, but instead an unfamiliar yet welcoming voice stirred inside of him.

There was no need for interrogation. Just as a servant responded to the voice of its master, the overwhelming presence of a God was undeniable. The Wild Card may have had the power to possess a God, but possession was far from control.

"Izanagi." Removing his hand from covering his vision, Yu blinked to clear his bleary vision. In the presence of the God even his humble room elevated into a throne. Few things tore Yu away from his usual deadpanned expression, but the sudden intervention of a God certainly warranted surprise. Aside from the first vow to serve him, Yu had never heard his Persona speak.

_"I am called Izanagi no Okami, the ruler of creation, in the heavens. I am thou, and thou art I. From the sea of thy soul, I come. I am the one who sheds light on thy path. We are connected through an unbreakable bond. Your human life, as transient as it is, is reflective upon mine." _

Before Yu could ask any questions, a voice was heard.

_"Don't look at me!" _

Yu swerved his head desperately to see if Naoto was nearby, but instead the shrill of the voice causing him to shiver. He recognized the voice. Instead of the majestically condescending, fearful voice of Izanami, it was like a cursed shriek from the wretched.

_"_Our paths cross in more ways than one._" _Izanagi replied. As godly as Izanagi no Okami seemed before, in a matter of seconds grief overcame him. "Izanami died during childbirth." Yu was unsure if it was their bond that allowed him to see, but even with the silver headdress it was apparent that his regret was still present. He wondered if he should interfere to ask the questions that rattled his thoughts, but he remained obediently quiet. "I would never love the child that killed her, so I murdered the newborn and ventured into Yomi (1), determined to bring her back. I searched for her until she came before me amidst the shadows. Hidden by the darkness, I asked her to return with me to the land of the living, but she refused." Izanagi paused and Yu could taste the bitterness of regret coating his words, "I was too late. Izanami had already eaten the food of the underworld and it poisoned her flesh. She was forever damned to the Land of the Dead and she could no longer return to the living. I refused to listen to her. Desperate to see the woman I loved, I lit my comb to see in the darkness only to see a horrid corpse." Yu slowly nodded as he recalled the Goddess' rotting flesh and the protruding tendril-like skeletons that were rampant with maggots. "Overcome with fear, I fled with full knowledge of the fact that I was abandoning the woman I once called my wife. I covered the mouth of the Yomotsuhirasaka (2) with an impenetrable boulder, trapping her into the pits of hell for eternity. It was my misjudgment that causes the deaths of a thousand lives every day (3)." Yu could hardly forget the look on Izanami's face when he appeared before her in the last battle. The look of loathing consumed her when she recognized him for his ability to summon Izanagi, and she lividly called him a "sinful son of man." Now he knew the reason why. Somewhere in the back of his mind he recalled Naoto's Shadow cursing the existence of men and how they would never accept or respect her just because of her gender.

"Do you regret leaving her?" The leader softly murmured. A silent firm nod answered his question and as identical entities he knew words would fail to express such agony. Yu nervously rubbed his wrists, a habit he formed after wearing Naoto's Christmas gift for too long, unable to conjure any words or empty condolences.

"She reminds me of her," Izanagi spoke. Yu raised his brow slightly in response. He could hardly see any similarities between the pint-sized detective and the damned Goddess. "Izanami wasn't always this way," the God's eyes narrowed slightly between the slits of his mask—a hint of what Yu guessed to be a reminiscent smile. "Look at the beauty of the world around you. Only someone of divine grace could create something so magnificent. I was so captivated by her beauty that we defied the first Gods and decided to be mated. After building the Ame-no-Mihashira (4), we agreed to meet on the other side as a vow to each other." A slight paused followed, but there was a soft breeze that followed the silence and a hint of laughter could be heard. Yu vaguely wondered if spring breezes were caused by the laughter of the Gods. "When we met on the other side, she spoke first in greeting—an act thought as improper for a woman—but I accepted her regardless (5)."

Yu's lips curved into a slight smile. How could he forget the day he brazenly asked the detective to sit by his side? As uncomfortable as she seemed, (her flushed face was something he would never forget) she set her pride aside to confess the words he knew he struggled to say. He was confident in the fact that he would be the first to express his feelings, given time of course, but her confession admittedly shook the ground beneath him. Upon realization, his smile slowly turned into a frown. She had always reached out to him. Even with her nervousness and insecurity, she was the one who revealed herself in feminine clothes, she was the one who greeted him that one Christmas night, and she was the one who never failed to call. She was the one who came home in time for dinner. She was the one who never made him wait. He looked up at the God, who now looked somewhat at peace, and nodded, "Thank you, Izanagi."

A nod and then another cooling breeze ended their brief encounter.

He awoke to see that only a few hours had passed since he drifted off into a dream. Reaching for his cellphone, he refused to make up excuses for why she never called tonight. Whether it was because she was still livid or if she was over-thinking her apology, this time he was the one who needed to act first. Fear or his indignant feelings couldn't be used as excuses anymore. WIth a press of a button he called her and her timid voice on the other line settled the uncomfortable lump rising in his chest.

And finally he spoke, in a voice he couldn't quite call his own, to say what he regretfully couldn't have said in a previous life.

"You are beautiful."

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(1) Yomi: Land of the Dead (according to WIki though because I don't know shit)

(2) Yomotsuhirasaka: Cavern that was the entrance to Yomi

(3) Izanami threatened that if Izanagi left her she would murder 1,000 residents of the living every day and Izanagi in turn replied that he would give birth to 1,500.

(4) Ame no Mihashira: a pillar that means "A pillar of heaven" that was built in a palace called Yahiro dono. (Ty Wiki for being a babe)

[The whole Izanaagi/Izanami back story might be completely wrong but I seriously just looked at Wiki and went with it. If this was confusing it's 100000000% my fault. I tried to compare Izanami's insecurity with her rotting body with Naoto's insecurity with her gender. I also tried to create a relationship between Yu and Izanagi that transcended the battle field. I wanted to show that Izanagi appeared before Yu to kind of guide him away from izanagi's past regrets. In the end I wanted it to be like Yu allows Izanagi to even borrow his body to finally say the words that Izanagi regretted not saying to Izanami when he went to the Land of the Dead. I didn't want it to be something as corny as "You are beautiful" but honestly it was the one thing that I thought fit what Naoto and Izanami would have wanted to hear. Naoto isn't necessarily concerned with beauty but she wants to be accepted as herself female or not and I think Yu, who is simple with words, would have said something as bland but genuinely simple as that. As for Izanami I think she was wasn't hurt by being called hideous but by the way Izanagi abandoned her once her body was revealed. "You are beautiful" for Izanagi is a way of expressing that he still loves her, rotting flesh or not and expresses his regrets.

Spoiler Alert(?) I was considering doing this drabble with Marie after I found out that she was a part of Izanami but I didn't know enough about her character to have the confidence to write about her. I think it's a thought that I will come back to once I find more about her (God knows how because I will never get a Vita) and it's possible I might come back to revisit this prompt. ]


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